The Blog
Dive into intimate, inspiring (and slightly taboo) stories
My blog is where I share from my heart. I write about motherhood, money, intimacy, becoming sovereign, and so much more. You can also find my recipes here.
Go ahead and explore the library below, or use the search bar to explore a specific topic.
Is recovery ever complete?
For those who don’t know, for a multitude of reasons, I suffered with an eating disorder in my late teens, all the way through my 20s. When I became pregnant with Caleb at 28 I stopped starving myself + purging if I ate over a specific amount of calories per day. I decided I would look after myself, for him (not yet for me). After he was born, I regressed slightly, but when he was two my world was flipped upside down. I met my friend Ania, who at the time was training to be a Health Coach, and she opened my eyes to a world which led me to create a true connection with my body, based on respect. I think having just had a baby, seeing the miracle of life, of the human body, first hand in that way, really helped cement for me how miraculous my own body was, and I really felt called to truly care for it.
The Song of the Child
Last week I was listening to an incredible conversation about the schooling system (must listen from Mamalution, episode 49 on the schooling system, which you can find here), and it was mentioned about The Song of the Child from Namibia. I was so touched by the story that I wanted to research it more and share it with you all here. With my research I have not found the detail I had hoped for, but in fact discovered that it may not even be true, so today I am going to share ‘the story’ that has been shared, and then reflect on why, true or not, it touched me, and why I feel the ethos behind it is really relevant to the work we are doing to (re)discover our truth + our purpose.
Growth of the Soil - Growth of the Soul
…now we have our garden. Today I was going to write about how it makes me feel. Let me tell you quickly how it makes me feel, but I have more to share, which came as a surprise as I sat to prepare to write this earlier today.
Reflections from a sick bed
My sickness has healed a lot in my family. I can feel it. It has acted as a reset for us all. The power of surrender and the belief in the human body to heal holds so much power. I am grateful for my experience. It was really tough, but I am grateful. One week in to having recovered, and I am excited to move forward.
Taking back sovereignty + abolishing fear
The world is changing no matter what we believe as to why what happened last year happened, and the ONLY way to really be able to direct how our own lives move, and to step out of fear, is to take full responsibility for every element of our lives that we can. We have been trained into outsourcing every element of our lives for too long, but when we take back the reins, we take back the control. We are the majority. That is all we need to remember. And when the majority don’t ‘need’ them, then they have no control.
Free•dom
I am currently working with an incredible man to get really clear on how I move forward with the work I am here to do in this world. How I came to work with Chris is a whole story in itself, but I know without question it was the Universe that nudged me to him. The last 2 weeks we have been discussing many aspects of my personal story, and what has led me to the work I am being called to now. A huge part of this has been discussing my beliefs + values. For some this may be a difficult thing to dive into, but for me it couldn’t come easier. I have always been very black + white. Once I know in my heart something feels wrong, I will stand against it with conviction + passion.
Empowered
As I sat on the beach, wrapped up in my coat, facing my friends + family, sun beating down on my face, I suddenly was overcome with pure joy, literally radiating through my heart. The sand beneath me was soft. The sea a magnificence azure blue, sparkling as the sun reflected its beams down on it. Our children ran around in the rock pools beside us, sun kissed, sandy, free. I let my body fall backwards + I lay in the sand, with my hands pressed deep into it. I took some deep breaths + exclaimed: “I have rarely been happier than I am in this moment.”
First comes knowledge...
This is knowledge. When you understand your body + how it works tirelessly to keep you well. When you understand how different foods then work to support the body to do this. When you understand how processed foods, sugar, toxins…actually cause the body to have to fight hard to eliminate them first + foremost, subsequently distracting it from the important work of, for example, destroying damaged cells before they become a big problem, or killing off a virus before it takes hold and they end up with sepsis. When you understand all of this + more, THEN you can make a lifestyle choice!
Liberation
I have spent the last two decades unbinding myself from my stories, from inherited stories, from my wounds, from expectations. Do I still have more to do!? Yes! I have no doubt it will be a life’s work. However, because I have chosen to live a life by my own design, based on my intuition first + foremost, I have naturally been very distant from many of the aspects of society that have made most people numb to the realisation that freedom comes from within, and cannot easily be taken away from you.
Why I love my dehydrator
As I sit here now in my office, cacao in hand, children asleep in our Family Bed, I can hear the gentle hum of it in my kitchen. It is a running joke in my home that I am always drying something out. My dehydrator is pretty much always on! To be honest I often leave it on even when the ‘thing’ I am currently drying out is already dry because the sound is so soothing to me, and I love the gentle warmth that comes from it in my kitchen.
Returning Home to our Purpose
The other day I was sitting writing notes on a knowledge that was downloading to me, thanks to all of the information I have been absorbing (I am going to reference those who have been teaching me at the end). I wanted to share with you my initial download. This is the process I have been on, and continue to integrate right now. This is the process I know I am here to lead others towards.
Let Me Clear My Throat
It then came to me that I literally had something in my throat that I needed to clear, that I needed to bring out of me and into the world. For about 4 weeks now I have been repeatedly receiving the message that I need to start writing poems. I used to write poems all the time in my teenage years. I am no Poet Laureate, by any stretch of the imagination, but I took a great joy from it, and yet it is something I haven’t done now for about 25 years! I had no idea why I was being called to it again, and up until this point in bed didn’t pay much attention to it. Suddenly however I sat up in bed, picked up my phone, and this poured out of me.
Where We Bleed
I can’t remember my first bleed. When I was training to be a Moon Mother we went through an exercise together, remembering our first bleeds, and processing the potential trauma, which sadly most women there felt around it. The fact that I don’t remember mine I assume suggests I had no trauma around mine, which isn’t a surprise because I remember my Mom always being open about her period (although she definitely did not have a love affair with it - sadly for her it was always a painful process). Most women in the room had felt shame around their first bleed, or were even surprised about it, having never even known it was coming. I never felt any of these things, it just felt very normal to me, so much so I was there to support my friends as it came to them.
On Pride
Those of you who know me or follow me on social media will know my stance on what is happening in the world right now. If you don’t know, feel free to ask me, or join my Telegram channel as we can be quite open there.
I have very real concerns about the experimental nature of what the majority of people are running off merrily to get pumped into their bodies all around us. I knew from very early on that this is what ‘they’ wanted this to lead to, whether it be for money or more sinister intentions (in my opinion, both!), but I had such hope that people would figure it out in time and not succumb to it. I know many have, and the numbers are rising every day, but most have not.
The Family Bed
I am so grateful I have had this experience with my children. So grateful! I will miss it when it is over, but I know it will feel right when it happens. Our relationship without doubt would not be what it is today without co-sleeping. The closeness and trust it has fostered is beyond measure. Those cuddles, the giggles and quiet conversations as we go to sleep together in the darkness, and seeing them as the first thing I see, and them me, when we wake up in the morning. I feel blessed to have had, and to continue to have those moments.
Luci
“Luci meant to the world to me….She ignited something in me, that I am only just now beginning to truly step into – she was a magical being, that was not with us long enough, but left behind her a force for good.”
Here I share the words I spoke when we said “goodbye” to Luci, one year ago today. I will forever miss you Luci.
Welcoming back Creativity
Come the end of March I would have completed my escape from my old blue friend that I joined 13 years ago. Will I be sad? Yes. Will I be scared? Yes. But I do I know to my core that it is something I have to do in order to create the freedom I need to live my life in complete truth and integrity? Absolutely! I cannot and will not tolerate the abuse anymore. I believe in my worth. I believe I can and will attract my community in other, more authentic ways.
Healing the Mother Line
I love how the Universe tells us when we are on the right track. As I sat here about to write this I popped onto Instagram to find a message from my Cousin in America. Sarah is in her early 20s, and I have always had a deep connection with her from the time she was a baby.
Sovereignty and Community
I often hear people talk about what their ‘word(s) of the year’ are going to be, but I have never really connected to what my ‘word(s) of the year’ were until each year is done. I guess one of the benefits of 2020 and 2021 seamlessly bleeding into one another is that I know for certain that this year is going to be a continuation of the growth and journey I (most of us) started last year.
"It is the Mothers who will Save Us"
Mother’s know their children better than anyone. They don’t do it deductively, logically, it’s instinctive. It is a voice inside them that has been there and been cultivated, cultured, evolved, over 10s, 100s of thousands of years, and it’s the reason we are on this planet now.